Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
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