Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm at about main and main street
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
