I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
