i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
