He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
