I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Randomize