i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
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