Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
My pussy is not your playground.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
