you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
