it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
