Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
