Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
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