are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
