Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Randomize
