hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
It's official drugs can't kill me
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
