I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
