My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Dick very happy bro
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
