i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
This house was built for laser tag.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize