Grow some girl-balls and come out already
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
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