That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
