Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
