Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
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