im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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