you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
