Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
