ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
