sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
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