I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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