Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Your penis caused this!
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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