i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
