Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
