Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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