could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
