and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Randomize
