can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
