4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
