I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Dick very happy bro
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
