I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
