I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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