its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize