He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize