How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
