I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
