the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
All the doctor said was why
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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