So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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