You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I just want to make out with him forever
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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