You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Randomize
