Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
