he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
