Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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