Buhtt sex?
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize