fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
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