Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
never play flip cup with pint glasses
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Randomize
