Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
