nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
