do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
