sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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